The Diagnosis

I have no idea how late it was when they got back home from Grandma’s house.  I had laid in bed with much confusion and emotional pain of concern.  I was confused about what was happening to Grandma, and it was never pretty to see my parents fight like that.  Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned into hours as I fell asleep that night.

A week later, which felt like the next morning, I learned from my dad that Grandma had Alzheimer’s Disease.

My reaction was to shut it all out like it was something that was only there if I had looked at it.  I loved my Grandma, and what made it worse was that it was out of any of our hands.  We couldn’t stop it, and couldn’t cure it, but could only live with as if it were history.  It wasn’t history though it was happening now, it might as well have been like changing the past.

Although it had felt like that, Dad told me that it wasn’t necessarily the case.  Eventually, we had found the right nursing home for Grandma.  He had told me it was for the best that they could care for her 24/7 which was what she needed.

Dad did all of the heavy liftings for both Grandma, and Mom.  He even found the best doctors at GoDocs.  I saw for myself, the doctors from GoDocs ( came to visit Grandma at the nursing home and gave her better care than I could imagine for her condition. I learned a lot more about what could’ve been done to assist people with Alzheimer’s Disease, and at the end of their first visit, it made me feel a lot better about what was happening with Grandma.

My Uncle Rick at the time was staying with us.  He was from Mom’s side of the family too, so he had come down to see Grandma.  He wanted to be there when we visited Grandma for the first time in the nursing home.

“You did good Stanley.  I’m sorry you had to take care most of this yourself.  I should’ve come down here sooner to help.”  My uncle had told my dad.

“Thanks, Rick, but it’s okay you guys needed to spend more time with her than go shopping for nursing homes,”  Dad said humbly.

Mom just ignored them and watched to make sure Grandma got everything she needed.

“You alright Johnny?”  Uncle Rick asked me.

“Yeah I’m all good.”  I flashed a smile at him for reassurance.  In actuality, I blew off the question.

I was just too taken in by everything that was around me.  There were a lot of elderly people taking residence there, many staff members, and things scattered about like a doctor’s waiting room serviced by hotel staff.

“At least she’ll have a lot more company around here with the other elderlies here than when she was at home.  I can’t imagine how lonely she got sometimes sitting at home alone watching TV.”  Uncle Rick had said not particularly directed at anyone.

He seemed like he just didn’t like any silence which was the complete opposite of my coping mechanism.

“Me and Jess visited her at home as often as we could, but she’ll have better care here.”  My dad had replied.

With that my uncle looked like he had an epiphany.  “I’d better join Jess, and make sure Mom’s doing alright.”

Dad only nodded his head in response.

After Uncle Rick had walked off, my dad kept talking to me to make sure I was okay pointing out all of the things I could spend time with Grandma doing like checkers, or whatever else was in the room.  It almost drove me nuts how he talked my head off, but he was still trying to help.

I was alright at this point, but I just preferred to be quiet in these sort of situations.  I’m not a very talkative person to begin with, but my dad always was.  So I guess it was always an odd mix when it was just the two of us together.  It was much worse though when my dad was concerned though because he was even more talkative, and I was even quieter.

We all had the chance to sit down, and talk to Grandma for a while before we left our first visit with her.  All of us stayed with her as long as we possibly could until the point that I think she would’ve rather we left.

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